THEME
Before We Were Yoursby Lisa Wingate

The Search for Identity and Truth

The Search for Identity and Truth

What This Theme Explores

The Search for Identity and Truth probes how a person’s sense of self is shaped—and sometimes shattered—by origins, memory, and the stories families tell. For Avery Stafford, identity begins as a polished public image rooted in privilege and legacy, then cracks as buried facts surface. For Rill Foss (May Crandall), identity is something to be defended against systemic erasure, preserved through memory when names and circumstances are stripped away. The novel asks whether wholeness is possible without facing painful truths, and suggests that secrecy corrodes identity while truth—even when it wounds—restores it.


How It Develops

The theme unfolds in twin timelines that mirror one another: Avery’s present-day investigation slowly uncovers Rill’s past, each revelation redefining who these women understand themselves to be. Avery begins certain of her role—dutiful daughter, rising political figure, keeper of a spotless family narrative. A chance encounter with May Crandall destabilizes that certainty, and small clues—a dragonfly bracelet, a faded photo, her grandmother’s murmured “Arcadia”—pry open a past her family never intended to revisit.

Meanwhile, Rill starts with a strong, river-forged identity as eldest sister and guardian aboard the shantyboat Arcadia. That identity is targeted from the moment the Tennessee Children’s Home Society seizes the Foss children, a process orchestrated and sanitized by Georgia Tann. Renamed, separated, and told to forget, Rill resists by remembering—clinging to names, places, and the promise of reunion. Her inner defiance becomes the lifeline of her selfhood when everything external is rewritten.

The arcs converge when Avery’s search leads to her grandmother’s past. The Edisto cottage yields a typewriter ribbon and a paper trail, but the final proof is human recognition: Judy Stafford—Fern Foss—knows her sister when she sees her. In that moment, Avery’s inherited identity gives way to a chosen one built on truth, and May’s decades of guarded silence resolve into testimony, reconciliation, and peace.


Key Examples

  • The Initial Catalyst: At a nursing home, May Crandall grips Avery’s wrist and mistakes her for someone from long ago, puncturing the illusion that the Stafford story is complete. This intimate misrecognition plants the first seed of doubt and launches Avery’s search for a fuller, messier truth.

    "Fern?" she whispers.

  • The Erasure of Identity: At the Tennessee Children’s Home Society, Rill’s name is taken and replaced—an administrative act that doubles as violence against her memory and ties to kin. In Tann’s rhetoric of “blank slates,” individuality becomes something to overwrite for the sake of marketable narratives.

    “We’ll call you something proper. A real name for a real girl. May will do. May Weathers.”

  • Internal Conflict and Preservation: Forced to answer to May Weathers, Rill sustains “Rill Foss” inside—repeating her past, reclaiming the river, and keeping the Arcadia alive in imagination. The split dramatizes how identity can persist as inner truth even when outward labels deny it.

    Rill Foss can’t breathe in this place. She doesn’t live here. Only May Weathers does. Rill Foss lives down on the river. She’s the princess of Kingdom Arcadia.

  • Uncovering Buried Truths: Avery’s discovery of the typewriter ribbon at the Edisto cottage links her grandmother to the Home Society’s machinery—evidence that the family’s respectable façade was built atop theft and silence. The physical trace turns curiosity into urgency, pushing Avery from suspicion to action.

  • The Final Revelation: The reunion scene confirms truth not by paperwork but by recognition—Judy’s memory clearing as if truth itself restores it. Identity is affirmed in relationship: sister knowing sister, and Avery witnessing the cost of concealment and the healing of acknowledgment.

    “Oh, oh…May!” she says as naturally as if they had just seen one another yesterday.


Character Connections

Avery Stafford: Avery begins as the custodian of a legacy, fluent in the language of optics and obligation. Each clue she uncovers dismantles the curated version of her family and, with it, the borrowed identity she wears for public consumption. Choosing transparency over polish, she redefines herself around integrity, compassion, and a vocation not dictated by inherited power.

Rill Foss (May Crandall): Rill’s story is a study in resilient selfhood: when institutions rename her, she answers to memory; when they sever family, she binds herself to promises. As May, she learns to live inside an imposed identity without surrendering the original one—a tension that only resolves when she tells her story and reclaims her sister.

Judy Stafford (Fern Foss): Judy embodies the long shadow of suppressed origins. She lives a lifetime as “Judy,” yet fragments of Fern surface through dementia, exposing how truth insists on expression even when memory falters. Her recognition of May validates the past, breaks the spell of the Stafford myth, and enables generational healing.


Symbolic Elements

The Arcadia: The shantyboat is a floating archive of the Foss identity—freedom, family, and a way of life tied to the river. Its destruction echoes the state’s assault on the Foss children and underscores how severed roots threaten the continuity of self.

The Dragonfly Bracelet: This heirloom threads the present to the past, marking kinship that persists beneath new names and polished lives. As it passes through hands, it becomes a quiet ledger of belonging stronger than secrecy.

Names: Renamings like Rill-to-May and Fern-to-Judy are ritualized erasures that reveal how power rewrites identity. Rill’s refusal to surrender her name internally turns naming into resistance, proving that identity is sustained less by labels than by remembrance.


Contemporary Relevance

The novel anticipates current debates about adoptee rights, sealed records, and access to genetic heritage—questions intensified by DNA testing and ancestry research. It also speaks to the pressures of brand-like identities in public and professional life, where optics can obscure origin stories and trauma. Avery’s choice to privilege truth over legacy models how individuals can disentangle themselves from inherited narratives, while Rill’s experience warns how institutions justify harm by sanitizing identity. Together, they invite readers to weigh the costs of secrecy against the liberating—and sometimes disruptive—ethics of disclosure.


Essential Quote

“We’ll call you something proper. A real name for a real girl. May will do. May Weathers.”

This line crystallizes the novel’s moral argument: naming is never neutral. The confident cadence of “proper” and “real” reveals how institutional power masks theft as benevolence, turning identity into something bestowed rather than inherent. Rill’s lifelong refusal to internalize this renaming exposes the lie and asserts that truth begins with calling oneself by one’s rightful name.