Ana's pregnancy progresses, bringing an overwhelming love for her unborn child, but also a fading sense of her own identity as "Ana, the scribe of lost stories." One night, seven months into her pregnancy, labor begins while Jesus is away in Capernaum. Fear grips Ana as her water breaks, and she wakes her aunt, Yaltha, who offers the stark comfort, "Let life be life."
Chapter 46: The Slow Devouring
Attended by Yaltha, Mary, and Salome—the "trinity" Ana requested—the labor is long and agonizing. Mary creates a small altar with three stones, an offering to Mother God. As Ana pushes, she realizes these women are her true mothers. Finally, she delivers a baby girl who is silent and still. Yaltha tries to revive the infant, but she does not breathe, and gently tells Ana, "The child doesn’t live."
Ana whispers Yaltha's words, "Life will be life and death will be death," as grief fills the space where her baby had been. She decides to name her daughter Susanna, which means lily.
Chapter 47: A Black Strap Around My Heart
Later that day, Ana insists on carrying Susanna's body, wrapped in her own wedding dress, to the family burial cave. The family recites the Kaddish. During the ritual, Judith and James's young daughter, Sarah, asks to hold the baby, but Judith quickly takes Susanna back, worried about ritual impurity. The small moment stings Ana. As the tomb is sealed, Ana cries out for the first time.
Following the burial, Ana begins her period of ritual uncleanness, which will last eighty days for a female child. She is grateful for the solitude, which allows her to mourn. Days pass, and Jesus has not been sent for. Salome explains that James and Simon argued against it, citing the family's dire financial situation after the tax collectors' visit. Ana confronts James, insisting that Jesus has a right to mourn his own child. She uses Jesus's own words, "We don’t live by bread alone," but James is focused on practicality. Ana's insistence that Jesus will be angered if the choice is taken from him finally convinces James to send Simon to Capernaum.
Chapter 48: The Mother and the Baby Both
Yaltha enters Ana's room with the shards of a large clay pot she has deliberately broken. She tells Ana that a broken pot is almost as good as papyrus for writing. Ana, whose breasts are painfully full of milk with no baby to feed, lashes out in her grief, questioning how Yaltha could possibly understand her pain. Yaltha holds her as she weeps, then reveals a secret she has kept for years: she, too, lost a daughter. While her two sons died in infancy, she also had a daughter named Chaya who was two years old when Yaltha was sent to the Therapeutae.
Yaltha explains she was forced to leave Chaya behind with her brother Haran, who later gave the child up for adoption and refused to tell Yaltha where she was. Yaltha shares this painful story as a solace to Ana, to show her she understands the loss of a daughter and to have no more secrets between them. This confession of shared trauma deepens their bond. Yaltha admits that since Susanna's death, she has been dreaming of Chaya calling to her. She then urges Ana to use the potsherds, telling her she seems "lost to yourself." Ana, who had given up on her dream of writing, agrees.
Chapter 49: Little Thunder
Jesus returns and finds Ana writing on the potsherds. Ignoring the purity laws, he embraces her, and they grieve together. He is angered that his brothers delayed sending for him. When he sees her writing, he is glad, but Ana tells him the rest of the family disapproves. James has already confronted her, calling her desire to write a "perverse craving." Ana recounts how she stood up to him, declaring her longing to be "godly." Jesus supports her completely.
Jesus tells Ana about his work in Magdala, where he has been carving images from the Temple's Holy of Holies into a new synagogue. This radical act declares that God's presence is not confined to Jerusalem but is everywhere. Ana sees this as a turning point, a sign of what is to come, as Jesus grows more outspoken against the Romans and religious authorities. A week later, Jesus returns from Magdala late, having taken a dangerous road to a workshop to bring Ana a sack full of stone potsherds so she can continue to write.
Chapter 50: I Hope for Everything
As her eighty-day confinement nears its end, Ana dreams of going to Jerusalem for the purification ritual. Her secret hope is to trade her remaining valuables for papyri and ink. However, Jesus tells her they cannot go, as he is now a head builder at the synagogue and cannot be away for so long. Disappointed, Ana lies awake and has a premonition of Jesus leaving her one day to follow his own calling.
The night before her confinement ends, Ana has a powerful dream: she gives birth, but the baby is not Susanna; it is herself. Yaltha's voice in the dream says, "Why look, you are the mother and the baby both." Understanding the dream's meaning, Ana asks Yaltha to trade her silver headband for contraceptive herbs. When Jesus returns, he sees the herbs and understands her decision. He feels a "sad, wordless relief," knowing that a lack of children will make it easier for him to leave when his time comes. Ana tells him her dream, and he replies, "It seems you will be born again." The chapter concludes with a stark, repetitive list of women's chores, representing the life Ana is choosing to transcend.
Character Development
The loss of Susanna acts as a catalyst for profound change in Ana, Jesus, and Yaltha. While James remains entrenched in tradition, the other three characters embrace new paths.
- Ana: She channels her grief into writing, reclaiming her identity and defying societal expectations. Her dream symbolizes her decision to prioritize self-actualization over traditional motherhood.
- Jesus: He becomes more outspoken and radical, challenging religious authority and decentralizing God's presence.
- Yaltha: She transitions into a true mother figure for Ana, sharing her own painful secret and helping Ana heal through creative expression.
- James: He represents the rigid, patriarchal structure of their society, prioritizing practicality over emotional needs.
Themes & Symbols
These chapters explore themes of female empowerment, self-discovery, and alternative spirituality. Ana's journey highlights the importance of women finding their voices and defining their own purpose. Jesus's actions challenge established religious norms, suggesting that faith can be found outside traditional institutions.
- Potsherds: Symbolize both grief and the fragmented nature of women's stories, but also the potential for creation and wholeness.
- Dream of Birthing Herself: Represents Ana's rebirth and her shift towards nurturing her own identity.
- Contraceptive Herbs: Symbolize Ana's agency and control over her body and destiny.
Key Quotes
"Life will be life and death will be death."
Ana whispers these words after the death of her daughter, Susanna. This mantra, initially spoken by Yaltha, becomes a way for Ana to accept the harsh realities of life and death. It underscores the inevitability of loss and the need to find meaning even in the face of tragedy.
"Why look, you are the mother and the baby both."
This line, spoken by Yaltha in Ana's dream, encapsulates the central theme of self-discovery. It signifies Ana's shift from the biological imperative of motherhood to the spiritual and intellectual imperative of creating and nurturing her own identity. She becomes responsible for her own becoming.
Why This Matters and Section Significance
This section marks a turning point in the novel, with Susanna's death serving as a catalyst for Ana and Jesus's individual journeys. Ana's grief is transmuted into creative purpose, solidifying her identity as a scribe. Jesus's loss sharpens his focus and accelerates his journey toward public ministry. These chapters set the stage for the inevitable divergence of their paths, as both commit more fully to their individual callings.
Sue Monk Kidd masterfully uses grief to forge her characters' destinies. The juxtaposition of profound loss and powerful creation is prominent, with Ana's writing born directly from the emptiness left by Susanna's death. The parallel development of Ana and Jesus is a key structural element, with both rebelling against the established order in their own ways. The chapter concludes with a stark list of women's chores, representing the life Ana is choosing to transcend, highlighting the contrast between a life of service to others and the life of self that Ana is now determined to "birth" and "mother."