Bryan Love
Quick Facts
- Role: Ex-husband; father of three older sons; eventual foster father to Lara’s youngest
- First appearance: Early chapters (notably Chapter 2 flashbacks; marital backstory in Chapter 8)
- Key relationships: Former spouse and coparent; steady primary caregiver; partner to Darcy; guardian to Kaden
Who They Are
Bryan Love begins as a flawed, emotionally distant husband and ends as a steady, pragmatic coparent. His marriage to Lara Love Hardin fails—largely due to his infidelity and detachment—but he becomes the reliable parent their children need. He provides stability for Dylan, Cody, and Ty Love, and, with his new wife Darcy, takes in Kaden Love Jackson as a foster child, keeping the brothers together during Lara’s incarceration. The memoir offers virtually no physical description of Bryan; the narrative is interested in his choices, not his appearance—emphasizing impact over image.
Personality & Traits
Bryan is pragmatic, conflict-avoidant, and emotionally reserved. He doesn’t engage with Lara’s inner life; instead, he defaults to practical directives. Yet his steadiness, especially as a father, becomes a crucial counterweight to Lara’s chaos.
- Pragmatic and non-confrontational: “Handle your business” becomes his refrain—clear, efficient, and emotionally hands-off. He responds to Lara’s early Vicodin confession by minimizing it and shelving the pills rather than confronting the problem.
- Unfaithful but not cruel: Lara traces their divorce to repeated cheating, concluding, “He just didn’t love me” (Chapter 8)—not from malice, but from a lack of connection and commitment.
- Responsible father: He steps in when Lara can’t, creating a stable home for the boys and later agreeing to foster Kaden, showing a consistent prioritization of the children over adult grievances.
- Emotionally distant: He avoids intimate questions—he knows something is wrong but prefers not to know the details, outsourcing care to boundary-setting and logistics.
Character Journey
Bryan’s arc shifts from romantic failure to parental reliability. What begins as a “one-night stand” marriage (Chapter 8) unravels under infidelity and detachment, but after the divorce—and as Lara’s addiction worsens—he becomes the anchor for their sons. He assumes custody “for the foreseeable future” (Chapter 2), then, when Lara is arrested, he and Darcy secure emergency foster certification for Kaden so the brothers remain together. Bryan never becomes emotionally expressive, but he proves dependable where it matters, embodying the memoir’s tension between failing at intimacy and succeeding at responsibility—a counterpoint to Lara’s experience of motherhood and failure.
Key Relationships
- Lara Love Hardin: Their bond moves from hurt to functional alliance. The marriage—born from a rushed beginning and Lara’s doubts (Chapter 8)—collapses, but as coparents they prioritize safety and routine over unresolved wounds. Lara depends on Bryan’s steadiness even as his detachment stings.
- Dylan, Cody, and Ty Love: Bryan chooses structure over sentimentality, taking the boys in when Lara’s life destabilizes (Chapter 2). His house becomes the calm center that shields them from chaos, proving his reliability as a day-to-day caregiver.
- Kaden Love Jackson: Agreeing to foster Kaden keeps the siblings together and spares the youngest from the uncertainties of the system. This decision reframes Bryan from unfaithful ex to essential guardian, offering Lara peace while she’s incarcerated.
- Darcy: With a stronger, confrontational presence, Darcy often drives conflict; Bryan tends to defer to her to avoid fights. Even so, together they enact the most consequential decision—fostering Kaden—demonstrating a partnership that is pragmatic, if not tender.
Defining Moments
Bryan’s most telling actions are quiet but decisive—moments where he chooses logistics over feelings and, in doing so, safeguards the children.
- Dismissing Lara’s addiction (Chapter 2): He minimizes her Vicodin confession—“It’s no big deal, everyone takes them”—and shelves the pills. Why it matters: His avoidance reinforces Lara’s pattern of addiction and escape, revealing how denial and passivity can enable harm.
- Taking in the boys (Chapter 2): He tells Lara the children will stay with him and punctuates it with “Handle your business.” Why it matters: It’s a boundary that protects the kids; emotionally withholding, but ethically clear-eyed about their needs.
- Agreeing to foster Kaden (Chapter 6): He and Darcy obtain emergency certification and bring Kaden home. Why it matters: This is the redemptive heart of Bryan’s arc—he keeps the brothers together and gives Lara a rare, stabilizing mercy.
Essential Quotes
“Handle your business,” is all he said to me, which is Bryan-speak for “Get your shit together, because I know something is wrong but I don’t really want to know what.” — Lara Love Hardin, Chapter 2
This line distills Bryan’s ethos: practical, distant, and firm. He won’t delve into Lara’s pain, but he will draw a line to protect the children and demand accountability.
He had just shrugged and put them on the top shelf of the linen closet. “It’s no big deal, everyone takes them.” — Bryan Love, Chapter 2
A small gesture with big consequences—shelving the pills literalizes his emotional shelving of the problem. The minimization shows how avoidance can be as damaging as overt cruelty.
Bryan Love wasn’t a bad guy. He just didn’t love me. — Lara Love Hardin, Chapter 8
Lara’s verdict reframes Bryan without vilifying him: not a villain, but not a partner. It clarifies the memoir’s moral complexity—people can fail one role and fulfill another.