Todd Callum

Quick Facts

• Role: Sixteen-year-old son of Tom Callum and Laura Callum; a quiet but pivotal presence who catalyzes his father’s growth
• First appearance: Introduced through Tom’s reflections (early chapters; explicitly in Chapter 2)
• Defining interest: Working on cars and tuning engines
• Narrative function: Lens for exploring family dynamics and moral self-deception, rather than a physically described character

Who They Are

Todd Callum is a reserved teenager largely seen through his father’s troubled gaze. His apparent silence becomes a mirror for Tom’s “in-the-box” mindset, making their strained dynamic a vivid example of Collusion in Conflict: Tom’s irritation and contempt push Todd away, and Todd’s withdrawal then “confirms” Tom’s complaints. As Tom begins to own his choices, Todd becomes central to Tom’s journey toward Personal Responsibility and Transformation, illustrating the cost—and cure—of Seeing Others as People vs. Objects. Notably, Todd lacks any physical description; the book keeps the spotlight on interior motives and relational ethics rather than appearance.

Personality & Traits

Todd’s characterization is filtered through Tom’s bias, yet a consistent portrait emerges: a quiet, capable teen who responds when treated with respect.

• Withdrawn but observant: He often answers with “Yes,” “No,” or “I don’t know,” a pattern that frustrates Tom—until Tom changes his own stance and no longer reads the silence as defiance.
• Labeled “difficult”: Diagnosed with ADD and long branded a problem, he becomes the battleground for parental disagreements, revealing how labels can harden into lenses.
• Passion for cars: His hands-on curiosity about engines is initially mocked by Tom, but later becomes a shared language and a bridge for connection.
• Responsive to genuine engagement: When Tom asks to learn about tuning, Todd steps into the teacher’s role—proof that his reserve hides willingness, not hostility.

Character Journey

Todd’s arc is seen indirectly, through the transformation of Tom’s perception. Early on, Tom treats Todd as an obstacle—evidence that his parenting frustrations are justified. The turning point comes when Tom recognizes his own need to keep Todd a “problem” so he can excuse his neglect. Acting on this insight, Tom returns home, initiates a simple barbecue, and asks Todd to teach him about cars. Todd doesn’t suddenly become chatty, but the dynamic changes: his quiet competence meets Tom’s humility. The real movement is relational, not temperamental—Todd is the same person; he’s finally being seen.

Key Relationships

• Tom Callum: Their bond dramatizes a feedback loop of blame and withdrawal. Tom’s contempt breeds Todd’s silence, which Tom then cites as proof of failure. When Tom steps toward him with curiosity rather than control, Todd reciprocates, revealing how fragile trust can revive once objectification ends.
• Laura Callum: Todd is a fault line in his parents’ marriage. Tom and Laura “clashed constantly over what to do with him,” showing how differing postures—protection, frustration, resignation—can deepen a child’s isolation even when both parents care.

Defining Moments

Todd’s most important moments are small, domestic pivots that reframe him from “problem” to person.

• Tom’s private justification (Chapter 2): Prompted by Bud Jefferson, Tom admits he’s been avoiding Todd but quickly rationalizes it—an embodiment of Blame and Self-Justification. Why it matters: The scene exposes how Todd’s “difficult” label functions as Tom’s alibi.
• The barbecue and engine lesson (Chapter 17): Tom humbly asks Todd to teach him about cars, taking a first step out of Self-Deception and 'The Box'. Why it matters: Todd’s quiet engagement shows that respect, not pressure, invites relationship.
• The next-day reflection (Chapter 17): Tom notices Todd was “about the same”—still terse—but Tom no longer takes it personally. Why it matters: The change begins inside Tom; Todd doesn’t need to transform for the relationship to heal.

Defining Todd’s Symbolism

Todd embodies the “other” reduced to an object under a parent’s anxious gaze. His love of cars functions as a symbolic hinge: mocked when Tom is in the box, it becomes a doorway to understanding when Tom steps out. The very thing Tom fears—a son who might become a mechanic—turns into the medium through which he learns to see his son as a person.

Essential Quotes

My mind turned to my boy, Todd. It was true that I avoided doing much with him anymore. I didn’t think that was entirely my fault, however. This early admission pairs honesty with evasion. Tom recognizes his neglect but protects himself with justification, revealing the mindset that keeps Todd categorized as the problem and stalls any repair.

I had been blaming Todd almost from that day. He was never smart enough, never coordinated enough. And he was always in the way. Since he started school, he had been in constant trouble. I didn’t remember ever feeling proud when anyone realized he was my son. He’d never been good enough. The litany of “never” exposes years of contempt calcified into identity. Todd’s supposed deficiencies become Tom’s story about him—a story that blinds Tom to Todd’s real capacities and needs.

I asked myself, What must it be like to be the son of someone for whom you can never be good enough? And if Kate’s right, then there’s a sense in which I can’t let him be good enough. I need him to be a problem in order to feel justified in always seeing him as a problem. I felt sick, and I tried to push Todd out of my mind. This epiphany names the core self-deception: Tom’s identity as a “responsible” father depends on keeping Todd defective. The nausea signals moral awakening—the cost of realizing you’ve used someone to steady your own self-image.

“How was Todd through the evening?” “About the same as usual—pretty silent. He basically responded to my questions as he always does—mostly with ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ and ‘I don’t know.’ But I didn’t seem to mind it last night, whereas before it would’ve driven me crazy.” Nothing about Todd changes overnight; Tom’s interpretation does. The quote crystallizes the book’s thesis: relationships shift when we stop demanding proof of worth and start honoring the person already there.