The novel opens a decade after Ellie Mack's disappearance, immediately immersing the reader in the lingering trauma that defines her mother, Laurel Mack's, existence. A seemingly ordinary moment—Laurel cleaning her older daughter Hanna Mack's apartment—triggers a wave of panic, underscoring the profound impact of Grief, Loss, and Moving On on her life. This sets the stage for a story that explores the complexities of family, memory, and the enduring power of hope in the face of unimaginable loss.
Chapter 1: A Mother's Fear
Laurel, cleaning Hanna's apartment, notices signs that her daughter didn't come home the previous night. Overwhelmed by fear, she reflects on the heightened anxiety that now defines her existence. For a parent of a missing child, she believes, overreacting is impossible.
With trembling hands, Laurel calls Hanna's workplace and hears her daughter's voice. She hangs up without speaking, her immediate panic subsiding. The incident reveals Laurel's fragile mental state and her lonely, disconnected life. It also highlights the strained yet dependent relationship she shares with Hanna, who allows her mother to clean her impersonal apartment, which Laurel views as a "glorified hotel room."
Chapter 2: The Day It Began
The narrative flashes back to the day Ellie vanished, revealing Laurel's memories of a "perfect life" she failed to appreciate. She recalls mundane details: Ellie promising to return for lasagna and her husband, Paul Mack, being sick in bed. As the day progresses and Ellie doesn't return, Laurel's annoyance turns to dread. She calls Ellie's friends, including her boyfriend Theo Goodman's mother, and visits the library, where CCTV footage confirms Ellie never arrived.
This chapter marks the beginning of the end of Laurel's marriage. She feels hatred for Paul, who is sick and helpless while she faces a growing crisis. His weakness symbolizes his emotional inadequacy in her eyes. That evening, after the police leave, Hanna asks for the lasagna Laurel had promised to save for Ellie. Laurel snatches it away and, watching Hanna eat beans on toast, has a terrible thought: It should be you missing and Ellie eating beans on toast. This moment exposes the complexities of The Nature of Family and Motherhood under duress, revealing Laurel's raw grief and her difficult relationship with her surviving daughter.
Chapter 3: The First Kink
The narrative shifts to Ellie's perspective in a "THEN" chapter, recounting the events leading to her disappearance. Ellie identifies the "first kink in the time line": getting a B+ on a math test. Driven by her love for Theo and a desire to be as smart as he is, she becomes convinced she needs a private tutor. She comes home in a temper, blaming her teacher and demanding her mother hire one.
Laurel tries to reason with her, suggesting more affordable options, but Ellie, acting like a "spoiled brat," rejects them. She pushes relentlessly, unaware of her parents' financial situation or the fateful consequences of her demands. This chapter characterizes Ellie as a typical, ambitious, and somewhat self-absorbed teenager, whose seemingly minor decision sets a catastrophic chain of events in motion. Her internal monologue, looking back on this moment, is filled with dramatic irony and foreshadowing, as she pinpoints this conversation as the moment she lost the chance to "save herself."
Chapter 4: Ten Years of Nothing
Back in the present, Laurel reflects on the ten fruitless years of searching for Ellie. The police investigation stalled after the last CCTV sighting of Ellie on Stroud Green Road. With no evidence of foul play or a planned departure, the police eventually downgraded the search, concluding Ellie was likely a runaway—a theory Laurel has never accepted. This difference in perspective was the final blow to her marriage. She saw Paul's willingness to accept this as "a sort of closure" as a sign that he wasn't "strong enough" or "insane enough" to share in her unending, desperate hope.
A year after the search was downgraded, Paul moved out. Laurel's life since has been consumed by the need to keep the search alive, even as her other children, Hanna and Jake, grew up and moved on. A recent ten-year anniversary appeal on Crimewatch yielded no new leads. The chapter's tone of stagnant despair is shattered in the final moments when Laurel receives a phone call from the police. A detective cautiously tells her, "It could be nothing. But we’d like you to come in anyway." After a decade of silence, there is finally a development in Ellie's case.
Chapter 5: The Tutor
The story returns to Ellie's perspective in a "THEN" chapter, describing her first meeting with the math tutor her mother found: a woman named Noelle Donnelly. Noelle is immediately presented as an unsettling figure. She is older than Ellie expected, with an Irish or Scottish accent, and a peculiar physical appearance: a stooped posture with a "kind of hump at the back," very wide shoulders, and "very small teeth." She smells of "cooking oil and unwashed hair."
Ellie feels an immediate sense of unease. As her mother leaves the room to make tea, Ellie wishes she would stay, feeling not "ready to be alone with this stranger." The introduction of Noelle is thick with foreboding, signaling the beginning of the novel's central mystery. Her strange demeanor and Ellie's intuitive discomfort introduce the themes of Deception and Hidden Truths and Obsession and Psychological Manipulation. The chapter ends with Laurel closing the door, leaving Ellie alone with Noelle, a moment that feels both innocent and ominous.
Key Events
- Present Day: Laurel panics when she thinks Hanna is missing, revealing her lasting trauma.
- Flashback: The narrative recounts the day Ellie disappeared, showing the family's initial reactions and the start of Laurel's resentment toward Paul.
- Ellie's Perspective: A flashback from Ellie's point of view establishes that her demand for a math tutor was the "first kink" in the timeline leading to her disappearance.
- A New Lead: After ten years with no news, the police call Laurel to tell her they have found something related to Ellie's case.
- The Tutor's Introduction: Ellie meets Noelle Donnelly, an unsettling woman who immediately makes her feel uncomfortable.
Character Development
- Laurel Mack: She is established as the protagonist, a woman whose life has been frozen by grief. The chapters contrast her pre-tragedy self (a typical, complaining mother) with her present-day self (haunted, isolated, and hyper-vigilant). Her complex relationships with her family are introduced: she idolizes Ellie, feels a difficult mix of duty and resentment toward Hanna, and disdains Paul for what she perceives as his weakness.
- Ellie Mack: She is introduced through Laurel's idealized memories and her own first-person flashbacks. She is portrayed as a bright, ambitious "golden girl" but also a normal, somewhat dramatic teenager, driven by love and a desire for perfection. Her perspective provides crucial dramatic irony, as she unknowingly walks toward her tragic fate.
- Noelle Donnelly: She is introduced as a deeply unsettling and mysterious figure. Her odd physical description and Ellie's immediate discomfort create a sense of foreboding, positioning her as a key player in the central mystery.
- Paul Mack: He is characterized through Laurel's resentful memories. He is seen as emotionally inadequate, unable to match the intensity of Laurel's grief, which ultimately destroys their marriage.
- Hanna Mack: She is portrayed as a distant and career-focused adult. Her relationship with Laurel is functional but lacks warmth, and she seems to exist in the shadow of her missing sister.
Themes & Symbols
- Grief, Loss, and Moving On: This is the central theme, established through Laurel's inability to recover from Ellie's disappearance. Her life is a testament to arrested grief, while Paul's desire for "closure" represents a different, and to Laurel, unacceptable, way of coping. The novel immediately questions whether it's possible, or even right, to "move on" from such a profound loss.
- The Nature of Family and Motherhood: The Mack family is shown to be a complex unit, fractured by tragedy. Laurel's fierce love for Ellie is contrasted with her difficult feelings for Hanna, culminating in the shocking thought that she wishes their places were reversed. This explores the dark, messy, and often unspoken aspects of motherhood.
- Deception and Hidden Truths: The entire premise is built on a hidden truth: what happened to Ellie Mack? The police investigation hitting a dead end and the introduction of the strange Noelle Donnelly suggest that the truth is buried under layers of deception.
Key Quotes
"For a parent whose child has vanished, there is no such thing as overreacting."
This quote encapsulates the heightened state of anxiety and hyper-vigilance that defines Laurel's life after Ellie's disappearance. It highlights the profound psychological impact of ambiguous loss, where the absence of closure amplifies fear and prevents healing. The quote also serves as a commentary on societal expectations and judgments placed on parents in such situations.
"It should be you missing and Ellie eating beans on toast."
This shocking thought reveals the raw, unfiltered grief and resentment that consumes Laurel. It exposes the dark, unspoken aspects of motherhood and the complex emotions that can arise in the face of unimaginable loss. The quote underscores the fractured nature of the Mack family and the profound impact of Ellie's disappearance on Laurel's relationship with Hanna.
Why This Matters and Section Significance
These opening chapters are crucial for establishing the novel's dual timeline structure and its central emotional conflict. By alternating between Laurel's grief-stricken present ("NOW") and Ellie's naive past ("THEN"), Lisa Jewell creates immediate suspense and a powerful sense of dramatic irony. The reader is plunged into the heart of the mystery while simultaneously witnessing the seemingly innocuous events that led to it. This section introduces all the key players, defines their relationships, and sets up the primary narrative question: what happened to Ellie, and how is her disappearance connected to the unsettling new characters entering the Macks' lives?
Lisa Jewell employs a nonlinear narrative structure to maximize suspense and emotional impact. The "THEN" chapters, narrated from Ellie's perspective, are filled with a sense of foreboding. Ellie's reflection on the "kinks in the time line" is a form of proleptic irony, as she narrates her own past with the knowledge (from some future point) that it led to disaster. This technique makes mundane teenage concerns—a bad grade, a crush on a boy—feel heavy with significance.
In contrast, the "NOW" chapters, focused on Laurel, are steeped in the bleak reality of the aftermath. The narrative voice here is raw and unflinching, exploring the psychological toll of ambiguous loss. Laurel's character is a powerful study in trauma; her world has shrunk, and her emotional responses are permanently heightened. The juxtaposition of these two timelines creates a compelling dynamic: as the reader learns more about the happy, vibrant girl Ellie was, the pain of her absence in Laurel's timeline becomes even more acute. The introduction of Noelle Donnelly serves as a narrative catalyst, a clear sign that the "THEN" timeline is about to converge with the dark mystery of the "NOW."