THEME
The Book of Longingsby Sue Monk Kidd

Love as an Egalitarian Partnership

Love as an Egalitarian Partnership

What This Theme Explores: The Book of Longings explores the radical idea of love as an egalitarian partnership, challenging the patriarchal norms of 1st-century Galilee. This theme posits that a romantic union can be founded on mutual respect, intellectual equality, and the shared support of each partner's individual dreams and spiritual callings. It questions traditional, transactional marriages focused on lineage and property, suggesting true love transcends prescribed roles, creating a sacred space where two souls champion the "largeness" within each other.

Development of the Theme

The theme of an egalitarian partnership develops primarily through the relationship between Ana and Jesus, which stands in stark contrast to other unions depicted in the novel. It begins as a deep-seated desire within Ana and blossoms into a lived reality through her marriage.

Ana's initial longing for a partner who will not stifle her intellectual and spiritual ambitions sets the stage. Her arranged betrothal to the elderly widower Nathaniel ben Hananiah represents the oppressive, transactional nature of marriage she fears—a union where she would be a mere vessel for producing a son. This is further emphasized by her parents' loveless marriage, which serves as a cautionary example of a partnership devoid of respect and affection.

As Ana and Jesus meet, their relationship blossoms, founded on seeing each other as equals. Jesus is drawn to Ana's spirit, which he names Little Thunder, and he honors her "largeness" by encouraging her writing, as detailed in Chapter 1-5 Summary. Ana, in turn, supports Jesus's spiritual quest and unconventional ideas. Their marriage becomes a sanctuary where they can be their authentic selves, sharing intellectual debates and spiritual discoveries.

The strength of their egalitarian bond is tested when their individual callings pull them in different directions. Jesus leaves to begin his public ministry, and Ana is eventually forced to flee to Egypt. Despite their physical separation, their love endures, rooted in the profound respect and understanding they cultivated. Their partnership is defined not by proximity or duty, but by a lasting spiritual and emotional connection that transcends distance and even death.

Key Examples

Several key moments and relationships highlight the novel's exploration of egalitarian love.

  • Jesus's Acceptance of Ana's Prayer: When Jesus discovers Ana's incantation bowl, he doesn't see blasphemy in her graven image or ambition. Instead, he reads her prayer aloud, giving voice to her deepest desires. This act validates her inner world and establishes the foundation of their partnership.

    Lord our God, hear my prayer, the prayer of my heart. Bless the largeness inside me, no matter how I fear it. Bless my reed pens and my inks. Bless the words I write. May they be beautiful in your sight. May they be visible to eyes not yet born. When I am dust, sing these words over my bones: she was a voice.

    This quote encapsulates the essence of their egalitarian partnership, with Jesus recognizing and blessing Ana's ambitions and desires, something unheard of in their time. His acceptance of her prayer is a symbolic embrace of her entire being, flaws and all.

  • The Contrast with Ana's Parents: The marriage between Matthias and Hadar is a loveless arrangement. Hadar feels unseen and resents Matthias for his emotional neglect of her son, Judas. She retaliates by secretly using contraceptives to deny him more children, a deception that underscores the lack of trust and partnership in their union. Their relationship is a constant, quiet war, the antithesis of the open, supportive bond Ana shares with Jesus.

  • Jesus's Support for Ana's "Knowing": When Ana confesses her use of contraceptives and her inner "knowing" that she is not meant for motherhood, Jesus does not condemn her. He accepts her choice, demonstrating his respect for her autonomy and her personal calling, even when it defies societal and religious expectations. He tells her, "Little Thunder, I won’t judge the knowing in your heart or what choice you make."

  • Mutual Encouragement of Spiritual Paths: Ana is the first person to truly listen to Jesus's radical ideas about God's kingdom being a place of compassion within people's hearts. She engages with him as an intellectual peer, as seen in Chapter 21-25 Summary. In turn, he is the only man who actively encourages her scholarship, recognizing that her writing is as much a spiritual calling as his preaching.


Character Connections

The characters in The Book of Longings either embody or challenge the theme of egalitarian partnership, highlighting its complexities and nuances.

  • Ana and Jesus: As the protagonists, their relationship is the primary vehicle for this theme. They defy the norms of their time to create a marriage based on mutual admiration and support for each other's individual quests. Jesus blesses the "largeness" in Ana, and she supports the spiritual fire in him.
  • Yaltha: Having survived an abusive, oppressive marriage, Yaltha serves as Ana's mentor. She is the one who first plants the seed of a different kind of existence in Ana's mind, telling her of educated, independent women in Alexandria. She encourages Ana to seek a partner who will honor her spirit, not just use her for procreation.
  • Matthias and Hadar: They represent the failure of a traditional, non-egalitarian marriage. Their union is built on duty, secrets, and resentment. Matthias values status and his work above his family, while Hadar's love is reserved solely for Judas, whom she feels she must protect from Matthias's coldness.
  • Nathaniel ben Hananiah: He embodies the patriarchal marriage system that Ana dreads. He inspects her "for blemishes like a Passover lamb" and sees her only as a means to produce a male heir. His character highlights the transactional nature of marriage that an egalitarian partnership rejects.

Symbolism

Symbolic elements within the novel reinforce the theme of egalitarian partnership, adding layers of meaning to Ana and Jesus's relationship.

  • Ana's Writings: The scrolls, inks, and reed pens are powerful symbols of Ana's identity, voice, and soul. Jesus's reverence for her writing tools and the words they produce is symbolic of his reverence for her as an individual with her own purpose. When he reads her prayer, he is not just reading words; he is reading and accepting her very being.
  • The Name "Little Thunder": This affectionate name, given to Ana by Jesus, symbolizes his recognition of her inner strength, passion, and spirit. While others see her ambition as a flaw or a "curse," Jesus hears it as a powerful, natural force—a "rumbling" that he cherishes rather than seeks to silence.
  • The Incantation Bowl: A gift from Yaltha, the bowl represents a woman's "holy of holies," a sacred inner space filled with longings. It is a symbol of female spirituality and desire. Jesus's act of reading from the bowl, rather than destroying it for its graven image, signifies his entry into and acceptance of Ana's sacred inner world, cementing their partnership as one of equals.

Contemporary Relevance

The theme of an egalitarian partnership in The Book of Longings resonates deeply with contemporary conversations about relationships, gender roles, and personal fulfillment. In a world where couples still navigate the balance between individual careers, personal ambitions, and shared life, the story of Ana and Jesus serves as a powerful allegory. It speaks to the modern desire for a partner who is not just a romantic companion but a true ally—someone who champions their partner's dreams as fervently as their own. The novel's exploration of mutual support in the face of societal pressure remains relevant, encouraging readers to question traditional dynamics and strive for relationships built on a foundation of equality, respect, and shared spiritual growth.