Little Thunder
"I am Ana. I was the wife of Jesus ben Joseph of Nazareth. I called him Beloved and he, laughing, called me Little Thunder. He said he heard rumblings inside me while I slept, a sound like thunder from far over the Nahal Zippori valley or even farther beyond the Jordan. I don’t doubt he heard something. All my life, longings lived inside me, rising up like nocturnes to wail and sing through the night. That my husband bent his heart to mine on our thin straw mat and listened was the kindness I most loved in him. What he heard was my life begging to be born."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 1, the opening paragraph of the novel.
Analysis: This quote is foundational, introducing Ana, her relationship with Jesus, and the central theme of The Search for Self and Personal Longing. "Little Thunder" is a powerful metaphor for Ana's suppressed ambition and intellectual power, constrained by societal expectations. It frames her relationship with Jesus as deeply empathetic; he listens to her inner being. The final sentence encapsulates Ana's journey, transforming her longing into a fundamental need for self-actualization.
A Woman's Holy of Holies
"A man’s holy of holies contains God’s laws, but inside a woman’s there are only longings."
Speaker: Yaltha
Context: Chapter 1, on the rooftop after giving Ana the incantation bowl.
Analysis: This quote is a cornerstone of the novel's exploration of Feminism and Women's Voices. Yaltha equates a woman's innermost desires—her "longings"—with the divine presence men reserve for God's laws. This validates Ana's ambitions, suggesting they are sacred and worthy of divine attention. It challenges patriarchal religious structures and empowers Ana to see her own heart as a holy place, a theme central to her development and the novel's exploration of Alternative Faith and Spirituality.
She Was a Voice
"Lord our God, hear my prayer, the prayer of my heart. Bless the largeness inside me, no matter how I fear it. Bless my reed pens and my inks. Bless the words I write. May they be beautiful in your sight. May they be visible to eyes not yet born. When I am dust, sing these words over my bones: she was a voice."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 3, the prayer Ana inscribes in the incantation bowl.
Analysis: This prayer is Ana's personal manifesto and the thematic core of the novel. It appeals for her "largeness"—her intellect and spirit—to be blessed rather than condemned. By asking God to bless her writing, she elevates it to a sacred calling. The final line, "she was a voice," is the ultimate expression of her longing: to be remembered for her words. This encapsulates her struggle against the historical silencing of women and her need to leave a legacy, a key element of The Search for Self and Personal Longing.
Feminism and Women's Voices
The Discovery of Women
"Listening to the rabbis, one would’ve thought the only figures worth mention in the whole of history were Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph . . . David, Saul, Solomon . . . Moses, Moses, Moses. When I was finally able to read the Scriptures for myself, I discovered (behold!) there were women."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 2, Ana reflects on her early education.
Analysis: This quote addresses the theme of women's erasure from history and religious narratives. Ana's sarcastic repetition of male names highlights the patriarchal focus. Her parenthetical "(behold!)" captures the revolutionary nature of her discovery that women were present in the scriptures, even if marginalized. This fuels her work to become a "chronicler of lost stories," actively fighting against the silencing of women.
The Perverse Tongue
"Her punishment is spoken of in Scripture—‘the perverse tongue shall be cut out.’”
Speaker: Tabitha's Mother
Context: Chapter 18, justifying the act of cutting out Tabitha's's tongue.
Analysis: This brutal quote exemplifies the violent enforcement of silence that women faced. The mother uses scripture to sanctify cruelty, demonstrating how religious law was weaponized to punish women who spoke out. Tabitha's "perverse tongue" spoke an inconvenient truth. This event radicalizes Ana's understanding of the dangers women face and strengthens her resolve to give them a voice.
The Search for Self and Personal Longing
A Disturbance of Nature
"Until that moment I’d thought I was merely peculiar—a disturbance of nature. A misfit. A curse."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 2, Ana reflects on her self-perception before Yaltha validates her talents.
Analysis: This quote reveals Ana's internal conflict as a gifted woman in a society that has no place for her talents. The words "disturbance," "misfit," and "curse" show how she has internalized negative views of her ambitions. Her longing to write is a source of shame and alienation. This moment, contrasted with Yaltha's validation, marks the beginning of Ana's journey toward self-acceptance and the reframing of her "peculiarity" as a divine gift.
Return to Your Longing
"Ana, your betrothal has stolen your hope. Return to your longing. It will teach you everything."
Speaker: Yaltha
Context: Chapter 7, after Ana kicks her incantation bowl in despair.
Analysis: Yaltha's advice serves as a guiding principle for Ana. She frames "longing" not as a passive wish but as an active, instructive force. By telling Ana to "return" to it, Yaltha suggests that one's deepest desires are a source of truth and wisdom. This empowers Ana to look inward for strength and guidance, reinforcing the theme that the search for self is a spiritual journey.
Love as an Egalitarian Partnership
I Bless the Largeness in You
"I bless the largeness in you, Ana."
Speaker: Jesus
Context: Chapter 33, in their room in Nazareth.
Analysis: This statement is the ultimate expression of the egalitarian love between Ana and Jesus. Where others see Ana's ambition as a flaw, Jesus sees it as a "largeness" to be blessed. His words echo Ana's prayer ("Bless the largeness inside me"). This demonstrates that their partnership is built on mutual respect and the celebration of each other's true selves, a radical departure from patriarchal norms.
I Am Also a Mamzer
"You should know with whom you speak as well. I am also a mamzer. In Nazareth some say I’m Mary’s son, not Joseph’s. They say I was born from my mother’s fornication... I’ve lived all twenty years of my life with this stigma."
Speaker: Jesus
Context: Chapter 31, in the cave, after Ana confesses she is a pariah.
Analysis: This confession solidifies the bond between Ana and Jesus. By identifying himself as a mamzer (an outcast), he dismantles social barriers and connects with her on the level of shared suffering. This establishes their relationship as a partnership of equals, founded on empathy. It reveals Jesus's deep identification with the marginalized, which will later define his ministry.
Character-Defining Quotes
Ana
"To be ignored, to be forgotten, this was the worst sadness of all. I swore an oath to set down their accomplishments and praise their flourishings, no matter how small. I would be a chronicler of lost stories."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 2, explaining her motivation for writing the histories of biblical women.
Analysis: This quote defines Ana's life's purpose and core identity. It moves her ambition beyond personal desire into a sacred mission on behalf of silenced women. Her "oath" is a testament to her empathy and intellectual fury at historical injustice. The phrase "chronicler of lost stories" becomes her defining title, encapsulating her rebellion against a patriarchal world.
Jesus
"I’m all of those. But I belong to none of them."
Speaker: Jesus
Context: Chapter 23, in the cave, after Ana lists his various professions.
Analysis: This quote captures the essence of Jesus's character: he is in the world, but not entirely of it. It reveals his feeling of being set apart for a different purpose that transcends conventional roles. While he performs his duties, his true identity lies elsewhere, foreshadowing his eventual ministry.
Yaltha
"We make our moments, Ana, or we do not."
Speaker: Yaltha
Context: Chapter 29, telling Ana the story of how she was chosen by her abusive husband.
Analysis: This quote encapsulates Yaltha's hard-won wisdom, born from a life of suffering. It is a statement of agency, particularly for a woman of her time. Having learned from her own past passivity, she imparts to Ana the lesson that one must actively seize opportunities. This philosophy shapes Ana's pivotal decisions and defines Yaltha as a pragmatist who believes that destiny is created.
Opening and Closing Lines
The Frame of a Life
Opening: "I am Ana. I was the wife of Jesus ben Joseph of Nazareth."
Closing: "I am Ana. I was the wife of Jesus of Nazareth. I am a voice."
Speaker: Ana
Context: Chapter 1 and Final Chapter, opening and closing lines of Ana's testament.
Analysis: These lines frame Ana's life journey and the novel's central theme. The opening line establishes her identity through her relationship with a famous man. The closing line repeats this, acknowledging the importance of that relationship, but then adds: "I am a voice." This signifies the culmination of her life's longing. She has moved from being defined by another to defining herself through her own words, transforming her story from one of association to one of self-actualization.